HEALING MY SOUL : Transforming My Grief Through Travel
Experiencing a loss of a loved one is so devastating, unbelievable and so unimaginable. Family and friends reached out and were their for us during the early days of his death.
Friends that I never imagined reached out right away after his death to give me support. This warmed my heart but my grief was too painful and heavy for me to so up for all of the kind friends and relatives that reached out. It was too triggering to speak to everyone especially about the details. I didn’t have the bandwidth or mental strength to talk about how he died.
So many brought food and were so present for me, of which I am forever grateful. But this doesn’t last long, as it shouldn’t. Everyone goes back to their own lives. Being present, emotionally and mentally available is a lot to ask of someone and difficult to maintain. I truly understand. So in this new reality I sought support on line 3 months after he died.
Travelling fills my soul with the promise of new experiences and discovering more about how much I can achieve on my own. This was and is my new intention, embarking on travelling is a means of self-care and self growth.
My journey to seek support and possible travelling options began 9 months into my grief. I registered for a grief program in October of 2022, called Inspired Grief led and founded by Catherine Settineri McNulty. Podcasts became my obsession the following year after his death as well, I found so many that I follow till this day. By far my favorite is Karen Sutton the Widow Coach. She was someone I connected with immediately. She also lost her husband. All her recordings teach and support widows.
Listening to people who experienced loss didn’t make me feel so alone and isolated. I related to their stories and witnessing and expressing my own emotions during our zoom calls gave me great comfort and connection. I also began watching YouTube videos by Caroline Moore, founder of Modern Widows Club(MWC).
This is where I found out about a three day retreat held almost every year by Modern Widows Club (MWC).
Frank and I always traveled together. We enjoyed each other's company as well as discovering new places, food and culture.
It took me a while to actually process and think about booking my trip with the MWC. Frank and I went to Scottsdale Arizona for one of his business conferences years earlier. So not only did it trigger sadness but I felt overwhelmed, nervous and anxious to book, arrange logistics and travel by myself.
The trip was from September 23rd to September 25th, 2022. I literally waited till September 16th the week before to book the hotel and flight. I was having nightmares before I decided to take a chance and actually go for it. I would wake up with a racing heart and feelings of doom, asking myself will I be ok and can I do it.
I can't believe I did it but I DID!!! I felt empowered and excited to venture off on my own, something I have never done in my life. My heart was aching because I knew I could never travel with Frank ever again. I knew he was proud of me and was cheering me on. He gave me a sign the day I booked my trip.
First time sleeping alone away from home without my husband
It was a life changing experience for me. I gained confidence in my traveling skills. It wasn't a long trip but it was just enough for me to dip my toes into the world of travel alone.
I gained friendships, support and sisterhood. We came together and were told we were all resilient queens that could do anything we put our minds to.
Widow Warrior Queens
Such an endearing special moment for us all. We participated in many healing activities and listened to amazing knowledgeable speakers and special guests.
I became aware once the trip was over that this would be the start of my solo traveling life. I feel good that I am honoring myself and living in my husband's example- to savor the present moment and make the most out of life.
Let’s Work Together!